See, me I like to wear casual fit jeans and a tighter tee shirt, not form fitting, but nothing that’s going to get in my way.

I need to be able to operate at a moments notice, and how am I going to do that with a pair of nut hugging pants on?

Imagine you’re in the store just minding your own business buying the latest issue of Sports Illustrated and BAM! in comes like 5 Green Peace faggots protesting in the meat aisle. What are you going to do?!

Well I know what I’ll do, I’d be pulling out my conceal carry CETME Ameli with a 150 round box magazine and get in to the patented Haji Squat and start taking everything in the fucking place out at waist height.

Well, I could if I was wearing my casual fit jeans, but today I decided I wanted to impress the ladies and show off my rock hard buns, because I do like 300 squats every day #squatlife, so when I go into my patented Haji Squat the seam in the middle of my pants rips and my junk falls out the bottom #commandolife.

Well now I’m fucked aren’t I? I’m standing in the magazine aisle with a copy of Sports Illustrated tucked under my arm in a pool of brass casings holding my LMG and a half chub going #adrenalinejunkie and about 35 Green Peace assholes strewn about the store.

See, when the local SWAT comes in they’ll see me with my junk hanging out and they’ll assume I was the assailant.

That means

  1. No High Fives with the SWAT Team
  2. No medal of Honor
  3. No child cancer wing named after me at the hospital
  4. No parade

All of this because I didn’t wear my casual fit jeans.

I ask you, is it really worth it? I say no.